The OP from a topic I started on a bpd forum
I found these both very informative and quite helpful. I'm sure most of us who've seen mental health professionals already know this stuff, but he speaks very well on everything.
One thing i find hard to deal with, thats discussed in these videos, is the techniques taught to control our behaviour, not processing anger, the benign situation etc.
I dont know about anyone else, but I've always been aware of these things, its common sense, and yes, i could learn to apply them better, but while i can be logical in situations........the phone call example:
I know its an over reaction, dramatic reaction, bpd reaction, whatever, and i know that the benign options are more likely etc etc. But that doesnt make the physical feelings of panic go away, nor does it stop me from thinking the bpd situations. I might know that they're not true, in the logical section of my brain, but THEY DONT FEEL TRUE, and i can never ultimately, fully convince myself.
The reason i went to the doctor, the reason i had to do something about my bdp, bp, anxiety etc, is because its BLOODY AWFUL, and i simply cannot feel those feelings on a regular basis, so please tell me how these techniques can make my stomach stop tying itself in knots, my head swimming and and everything hurting so much the world stops.
I also still really struggle with the idea that my childhood or my parents are responsible for the way i behave, or for my 'illness.' I have the typical bpd childhood, but ive never resented it, nor have i ever blamed in on any of my problems. I find that branch of thinking, freudian i suppose, very hard to have faith in - my mother was never around so now i suck as a person, it just seems like a total cop-out. (im not belittling anyone with these sorts of issues, i;m just struggling through my own ideas.) I think im going to scream at my pdoc if he tells me i cant have functional relationships with guys because my dad wasnt around, or that i devalue men who are attracted to me because my dad was a shit bloke.
everything they say makes sense, but it doesnt make it any easier to swallow.